You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.
There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.
I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled.
Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, "Verify your quotations."
A person's a person, no matter how small.
Ten percent of nothin' is... let me do the math here... nothin' into nothin'... carry the nothin'...
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
"Fool!" cried the hunchback. "You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well known is this: 'Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.'"