Ten percent of nothin' is... let me do the math here... nothin' into nothin'... carry the nothin'...
I think it's great to be funny, but it's better if you can do it without hurting people.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Humour is an almost physiological response to fear.
Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
"Fool!" cried the hunchback. "You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well known is this: 'Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.'"
Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
Without art we are but monkeys with car keys.