A learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that."
I have great faith in fools - my friends call it self-confidence.
Faith is the great madman inside you who won't listen to reason.
Go on, get out—last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
"What do you think I am, made of money?" "Isn't that what MOM stands for?"
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Somewhere, years ago, so many of us broke the link between love and sex. Once broken, it can never be fixed again.
(Using a blow dryer on his crotch) Girl: What are you doing? Guy: I'm heating up your dinner.
Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.
Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.