If you find yourself lost in the woods, f**k it, build a house. "Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!"
The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
If you open your mind too much, your brains will fall out.
The 2012 London Olympics were supposed to restore British National pride. £20 billion to restore British National pride? For £20 billion, we could have written 'F*CK OFF GERMANY' on the moon.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or of a lack of verbal interest is just f*cking lunatic.
A learning experience is one of those things that say, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that."