You can't hide from the Grim Reaper. Especially when he's got a gun.
Now occasionally you're going to get stuck. It's nothing to get upset about. Don't go hurling your controller at the cat, because it might throw something back and it'll only escalate...
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero.
I like video games but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital'.
Did you know Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans. No more merciful beheadings. And call off Christmas!
[phone rings, Buddy picks it up] Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?