When you put someone on a pedestal you may find they only look down on you.
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
I like video games but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital'.
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
And my friend is black, But I don't know what to call him. So I just call him Jamal Even though his name is Steve...
I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is f*cking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. Death hates that.
I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled.
Note to self re: being the Fonz. Mark, you are not the Fonz.
[He] may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.