.. I'm not racist, I've got a black president ...
You're a historian. Tell me if there are any bath-tubs in history. I think they've been frightfully neglected.
Love yourself enough to deserve the best and you will receive it.
You either have patience or you become a patient
Don't let Stupid make you Stupid.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
I think it's great to be funny, but it's better if you can do it without hurting people.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
In God we trust; all others must bring data.