Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; The cube had food and maybe ammo. And immortality.
Any customer can have a car painted any colour that he wants so long as it is black.
Not in cruelty Not in wrath The reaper came today An angel visited this grey path And took the cube away.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
First we'll make snow angels for two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat an entire roll of Toll House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we'll snuggle!
If you see a sign that says 'Peep Show', that doesn't mean they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.