Never let your schooling interfere with your education.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Remember, always be yourself... unless you suck.
Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea! Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen.
Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.