Quotes About Funny

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If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I'm too tired to be me.

Jarod Kintz

Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane

Rachel Caine

Headline?" he asked. "'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said. "'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said. "'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.

John Green

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Dorothy Parker

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Douglas Adams

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me." "It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.

Cassandra Clare

I'm going to wake Peeta," I say. "No, wait," says Finnick. "Let's do it together. Put our faces right in front of his." Well, there's so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his nose, and give him a shake. "Peeta. Peeta, wake up," I say in a soft, singsong voice. His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we've stabbed him. "Aa!" Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we look at Peeta's attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets us off again.

Suzanne Collins

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Yogi Berra