Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter."
Remember people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold; but so does a hard-boiled egg.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... Wow! What a ride!
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.